The Two Joes

When I was young, I used to think "adults" didn't know what they were talking about, probably because a lot of the time they were telling me and other kids what we should be doing with our lives. Everything was theory. If they had told it to me in stories, I might have listened more.

This story is about my friend Joe. He is a real person, and during baseball season we would go out and see a couple games, catch up on life. We're adults now and don't live very close to each other anymore, but we talk on the phone about once a month, and once in a while I would visit him and his family, and play with his kids.

I met Joe in high school, during P.E. class. Joe is your typical decent guy, not the class clown but not the nerd either. We were both in honors math class in high school, we took the same english classes, played a mean doubles tennis game, and both loved baseball.

Joe grew up not having a lot of money. His parents were divorced when he was young, and he was raised by his grandparents, with whom he stayed until he moved out and went to college. I, on the other hand, were raised by my parents, who were not divorced and to this day are still happily married. We also had middle class money, which means that my parents could afford to buy me a decent used car when I got my driver's license. Joe didn't have the same luxury so he worked for his car, which I remember always leaked oil. Even though we were different in terms of money, our personalities and sense of humor were compatible enough, and we loved Billy Joel and Star Wars.

Even though his childhood wasn't perfect, unlike other kids whose childhoods weren't perfect, Joe didn't get into trouble. Joe never got into fights, or did the usual rebellious things that you would expect from a kid like him. He studied hard in high school, studied hard in college, and ultimately became a doctor. Now he owns a good-sized house, is happily married and has three kids. Even though he could afford to pay cash for a Jaguar or a Mercedes, he drives a sensible SUV that can haul his whole family. He still shops at Costco, always looking for the best deals that money can buy.

His wife shares his approach to life, very low maintenance and humble. He once told me, "She isn't flashy and doesn't like to spend a lot of money. That's one of the reasons why I married her."

Looking at him now, you never would think that he grew up with almost nothing except his wit and hard work.

But I've been thinking lately, what would have happened if Joe took a different turn in life, similar to kids who didn't have perfect childhoods? What if Joe made one, or two, or more bad decisions? What would have happened to Joe if he was more rebellious in high school, didn't study, and slacked off instead? What if he decided to always be angry about his childhood and carry that anger over into his adult years? What if he, instead of doing something positive about it, had turned to drugs or alcohol or some other addiction, using his childhood as an excuse?

I'm glad that other Joe never happened.